Wrong Turn

Do you ever find yourself getting lost in a day dream only to snap back to reality and realize you have taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way? That seems to be what’s occurred during my stroll along Parenting Drive and my GPS doesn’t seem to be rerouting.

My daughter is in the pre-teen (aka: tween) stage and we seem to be hitting an overload of speed bumps. Am I the only one that feels like I’ve run into a dead-end? Up until this point, I thought I was doing pretty well as a single parent. My daughter’s father dead-beat-donor hasn’t been involved since before my daughter’s 1^st birthday and even then, it was nothing to write home about (maybe more like something to include in a policy report). Although I didn’t have support from the father dead-beat-donor or his family, my family has been my biggest support system and words will never fully express my true appreciation for their unconditional love and support. And sure, there have been bumps in the road along the 11 year road-trip but that’s expected. However, lately, it seems like we’ve experienced some major detours and tire blowouts.

Without boring you with all the details, we both have areas we can work on individually that can help us improve our relationship.

Things I’ve learned and need to work on:

· I need to stop engaging in the talking back and just let what I’ve already communicated be my final word.

· I have a horrible habit of getting over things quickly. Yeah it sounds great to not be upset all the time, but I constantly find myself getting walked all over. And eventually, all those “things” build-up over time.

· I need to stop worrying so much about having a “friend” relationship with my daughter that it clouds my authority role. I’m sure there’s a happy medium where she’ll feel comfortable to come to me about almost anything while still understanding that I’m the mom and consequences do exist.

So, while my daughter is staying with my parents for part of the summer and getting some time to herself to focus on her own demons, I’ll be focusing on mine. I’m hoping this blog will even offer me some relief as I tend to keep all of my feelings and thoughts inside, so this will provide an avenue for venting and it’s cheaper than a therapist!

Although most of my posts thus far have been purely random or nothing too serious, expect some seriousness thrown in here and there from this parenting road trip of mine.

And please share any helpful tips, links, reads, etc.

Chat later,

Cassandra

 

Cassandra

One Week to Departure

I’m so excited to be moving in a week. I’ve got new décor chosen for the living room, bathrooms, kitchen, eating area, and bedrooms…plus I’ll be getting back a craftroom with a door/hidden passage to my chaos!!

Packing is the most annoying task ever, but I’m so excited for the unpacking part. When I moved last year I went from a 3 Bed+Den house to a 2 Bed townhouse…and I had a hard time downsizing my belongings so there’s a TON to get repacked and organized. Luckily, I already tacked the garage organization after I moved in so everything is stored in plastic storage totes and ready to be moved.

The areas that need to be repacked include: my bedroom, my daughter’s bedroom, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, living room décor, and craftroom everything! I literally finished unpacking my craft *crap* in January 2013 (7 months after moving in) only to decide that it was time to move again. In my defense, I had planned on signing a 2^nd lease but an opportunity presented itself that I couldn’t pass up so instead of signing on the dotted line, I turned in a Notice to Vacate.

I’m trying to keep on schedule for what’s going down with this move:

5/25/13

· finish packing

5/26/13

· clean-up new place after tenant vacates (house is owned by my b/f so we get the fun task of cleaning up after the tenant

· take pictures of empty and clean rooms the “before”

5/28/13

· pick up U-Haul

· pick up living room set after work

· start loading up the U-Haul

5/29/13

· finish loading up the U-Haul

· unload the U-Haul at the new place

· start getting things unpacked and setup

· return U-Haul

5/30/13

· go back and thoroughly clean-up townhouse

· turn in keys and finalize move-out with office

5/31/13-6/1/13

· finish unpacking

· decorate

· take “progress” photos of areas as they are addressed

6/2/13

· take “after” photos of areas as they are completed

· make a list of “still needed” items for the house

· sit and relax and probably fall over from exhaustion

Wish me luck!

Chat later,

Cassandra

 

Cassandra

Moving...again

Let's chat...

Sooo almost a year ago my daughter and I moved from our 3 bedroom + den house of 8 years into a 2 bedroom townhouse. The location reduced some of my commute to work and put us about 5 minutes away from my parents, which they were super happy about. So, at the time, it was a good move for us.

Over the last 11 months I have had time to do a lot of "soul searching." I became single soon after moving and my daughter and I were officially on our own, no roommates, no significant other - nothing, just us! Although we had a blast being silly girls and hanging out, reality set in that we had moved to an area that was a bit above our means. I love the area, but moving here has required me and my daughter to give up pretty much all extra curricular activities because I have become house poor! As much as I hate admitting it, my family will be in a much better financial place by moving the 20 minutes away back to the area we previously lived. My daughter also hasn't adjusted well to the new school. Academically she is doing fine but she's not connecting with anyone like she has in the past. The frustration from this and the hormones of a tween have really caused a cloud of unhappiness.

Even though she will have to switch schools for a 2nd time (although we are moving back to the same area, it isn't in the boundary for her previous school), the change will help alleviate a few stresses for both her and I. Not to mention, my dogs will love having access to a yard again. Moving to a place without a yard (or anything more than a balcony really) has been a huge change for my fur babies.

I hated moved last year and luckily, I have a fantastic group of friends that donated their time, sweat, and company to helping me pack, unpack, and help me get moved in. Once again, I am not thrilled about packing after barely finishing unpacking, but the benefits of moving outweigh the inconveniences. Oh and don't worry, fantastic group of friends, I'm doing this one on my own...plus some movers. My idea: pack, point, and unpack - that's all I want to do - NO LIFTING!

Another reason I'm thrilled...I'll be able to afford a life again both financially and mentally (stress makes me sleepy) and I'll have an actual craftroom - with walls, doors, and even a closet! I LOVE crafting, all kinds of it, and I had great ideas for creating a craft space within the townhouse; however, the space never motivated me and I've missed that part of my life this last year.

Anyways, I thought this post was going to be a rant about hating to move but it turns out, although I mentioned the dread of packing, I'm really excited about moving. The idea of it, the change, everything!

Hopefully this blog will get off the ground after things calm down from the move.

Chat more later!

 

Cassandra

Meet Roxy

Our new German Shepard furry family member. Isn't she cute?!?

Chat later.

 

Cassandra

It's All Worth It

You know when those moments happen that make you realize it's all worth it? Well my daughter just turned 11 and with that comes tween hormones and attitudes and just when I'm ready to pull my hair out, my daughter turns into her cute and sweet self again.

This note was left with the lunch she decided to make me this morning:

Makes it all worth it. :)

Chat more later!

 

Cassandra

Blame Vegas

So sorry for being MIA. Thursday was my daughter's 11th birthday so it was a busy evening right after work. Then Friday, my boyfriend and I headed to Vegas for my best friend's wedding. Since we were always on the move in Vegas, it left little time to share my random thoughts. Probably a good thing as the bachelorette party went pretty late and who knows what kind of randomness could have come from that!

We came back late Monday and I've been running around like crazy at home and getting some extra time at work to get caught up from being out of town. Fun how you take a vacation then you work like crazy to make-up for it. Oh well.

Hope everyone had a great St. Patrick's day...

Chat more later!

 

Cassandra

Painting Mask

So a few days ago I decided to order a proper painting mask for painting furniture. I've tried the cheapo versions and they just snap off mid project. I have about 4 pieces of furniture that I have all plans of painting with Annie Sloan Chalk Paint. Now that I've got the mask and the dropcloths I need to actually get the projects completed.

 

Anyway, here's a lovely photo of my new mask:

 

 

My daughter thought it would be funny to look as though I'm sick and "infected."

 

Chat later!

 

Cassandra